I have a hard time enjoying September. Although the weather is still pleasant, a notable change happens after Labour Day. Holidays are over, school and university classes begin. Thoughts turn to work, the harvest, and preparation for winter.
I am sad about the end of summer, and my plans for autumn are blank. In years past I I felt a desire to create paintings suitable for gallery showings or to do home improvement projects. Today I don’t feel inspired by these activities.
Autumn is very much the metaphor for aging. I feel the aging process more strongly than ever. A new season of life is approaching. Are the good times of summer coming to an end?
Change of Season
Like each autumn day becoming slightly cooler and darker, the vitality of mid-life is waning. I take more naps, I need a magnifier to read, and I feel twinges in my hip. What will the autumn of my life bring? Should I accept this slow deterioration?
Never Say Die
An urgent voice is saying “Grab the ring while you can”. Don’t settle for a slow slumbering autumn. It’s telling me to act on my bucket list. Try a few new things! Have an adventure! Travel to Japan, meditate quietly, create a new recipe or snorkel in the Caribbean.
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Dreaming of new adventures is helping me accept September. I want to get emotional about something! Let new experiences pull me onward.
Hi! I am back to blogging after a summer break. I promised myself to have a carefree summer, and I did.
Summer Holidays
Nova Scotia is a land of lakes and ocean beaches. On the hot sunny days I took quick trips to a lake for a swim or paddleboard.
Waves
The ocean beaches are more dramatic and spectacular but also colder than the lakes. Ocean swimming is a braver and briefer experience for me. Despite shaking from the chills, walking in wet sandy sandals, and feeling sticky from the salt, I loved the whole experience. I needed to give up comfort in the quest for fun. I may have looked ridiculous but I was happy.
My paddleboard allowed me to quietly mix with lily pads, sitting ducks and swimming geese.
Port Bickerton Lighthouse
The highlight of my summer adventure was a week at an insular lighthouse on the Eastern Shore of Nova Scotia. Port Bickerton is a wonderful place to experience true solitude. The coast is rugged and dramatic, the forests are deep and dense, and the meadows and marshes lush with flora and fauna.
Port Bickerton Lighthouse
The isolation was compelling as the beauty. I spent days walking along spectacular rocky or sandy beaches, all alone, with no people, houses or roads in sight. The forlorn foghorn pervaded the thick morning fogs. At night the deep black sky was filled with millions of stars.
The solitude of Weeks Pond and the Atlantic Ocean, Port Bickerton
This was an artist retreat. My intention to ‘capture’ the scenery with pencil and brush, conflicted with my desire to have fun and new experiences.
Make life simple and relax!
Eventually my outlook was altered. Rather than impose my notions and opinions on Port Bickerton I was slowly overwhelmed by the immensity, variety, and wildness of the place.
Why not allow myself to be part of the scene. When I put away the pencil, I started to see more things and I began to hear, smell and touch my surroundings: waves breaking, frogs croaking, clouds scudding, feet on hard pebbles in icy water.
‘Bee’ing Present
While observing bumble bees pollenating flowers, I wondered if the goals in my life were any more significant to the universe than the work of these bees.
Life in the Moment
Did I waste the summer? By economic measures it was wasted time, since I did not produce any goods or services.
I feel younger. I enjoyed more moments because I was less preoccupied with future goals. Like the bees, I let myself live moment by moment here and now.
My habit to be future focused and productive diminishes the value of the present and all that it offers. My small vivid moments this summer showed me that wonderous interactions happen every day if only we stop, observe and marvel.
I have a longing that grows every June. I want to go back to my boyhood years when school ended and summer holidays began. I have happy memories of lakes and swimming. I remember warm summer days with no plans, few duties and no worries.
I don’t remember what I did over July and August, but I felt carefree and full of dreams. The potential for adventure was invaluable. Summer was a time where work and study gave way to play and fun.
Work or Play?
Over the years I feel like I lost something in my pursuit of achievement. I lost the ability to play.
I want to feel that again. I want to loosen up from my disciplined routines and have fun. I want to change my attitude as much as I change what I do. For example, I love playing hockey- but I play seriously and purposefully. I continually think about tactics and technique. I practice and study. I replay the game in my mind to figure out how to play better.
I also do art in a similar goal oriented manner. I want to continually improve.
I have a long list of things I want to learn. I push myself is to progress the list every week. On the list is my ‘aging artist’ blog . I want to add more features, but I need to learn so much more about WordPress.
My list is infinitely long and could last decades. Each accomplishment adds a new item to the learning list. It’s WORK that never stops.
Ostrich Emulation
Whether it’s summer or any other season, the world carries on with crises and conflict: Russia, inflation, migration, climate change, mass shootings… How can I feel carefree?
Am I choosing to put my head in the sand and be oblivious to the pain and suffering? Maybe.
Is there no place or time anymore to laugh or relax? Does it do any good to bear the burdens of the world in my mind while being helpless to affect change? If I were refreshed, I may have energy help when I return.
Re-create Recreation
June is almost over and July is only a week away. Summer is calling. I have to ask myself how many summers do I have to enjoy? It’s definitely a small finite number. What kind of summer do I want?
I am choosing to have a summer holiday! It’s a holiday away from my to-do list. It’s a break from trying to continuously improve myself. It’s a break from lamenting the news.
I will play at art and sport rather than work at art and sport. I will have more fun. With a ‘summer’ attitude I will play hockey for the joy of playing. I am going to swim and paddleboard, ride my bike and have picnics in nature.
I want to lighten up. I am going to take an artist retreat at the Port Bickerton Lighthouse on the Eastern Shore. I will do messy experiments with new materials. I will paint mud pies and sand castles on the beach.
Return
I will take a break from blogging and return in late August or September, with some new experiences to share.
The “Beyond Van Gogh” exhibit (https://vangoghhalifax.com/) is new multi-media performance bringing a famous artist’s work to world-wide audiences. The show came to Halifax. I have seen original paintings by Vincent Van Gogh. I was amazed by the intensity of his paintings and their emotional impact.
Beyond Van Gogh
‘Beyond Van Gogh’ exceeded all my expectations and generated a visceral reaction. I was awestruck by the quality and quantitiy of Van Gogh’s paintings. I also applaud the artists/ technicians who created the multi-media presentation. The imagery, animation, quotations, choreography and music created an immersive story of complete fascination and absorption.
The quoted excerpts from Vincent’s letters to his brother Theo were deeply moving to read. His humility and sincerity contrast to the values of today’s society. Ego, competitiveness, outragiousness for publicity, and arrogance have little presence in Vincent.
I left the exhibit with great reluctance and wondered about a good souvenir. I could buy a T shirt, or a mug with a starry night or sunflowers.
Maybe imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. I made a self portrait based on a selfie that I took at the show, with Vincent as inspiration.
Legacy
Vincent Van Gogh’s life could not have been easy. He struggled to find meaning and purpose in his pursuits. He faced failure many times, but carried on.
Perhaps by today’s standards we would judge him to be a loser. He didn’t sell any paintings, he was not wealthy, and he held little status.
Despite all this, or because of this, he created an amazing repertoire of art. We can tell from his paintings that he loved doing what he was doing.
His story shows me that it’s not what you get in life that is important. It’s what you make from what you are given.
I asked God for strength, that I might achieve; I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey. … I asked for riches, that I might be happy; I was given poverty, that I might be wise. I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men; I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God. I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life; I was given life, that I might enjoy all things. I got nothing that I asked for, but everything I hoped for. ...
attributed to an unknown soldier in the American Civil War
In the end he did find beauty in the simplest of things. He showed us what really counts is not how many paintings we sell, or how many patrons we can find. What counts for the artist is the satisfaction from the process of making art.
For my birthday my wife gave me an illustrated book of Vincent’s letters. It will keep me inspired.
A few posts ago I commented on the wealth on imagery that is available for us in today’s world. Spectacular images can to found on the internet, on TV, in magazines and in books.
Moreover we are bombarded by commercials to exhort us to buy things. Often these are beautiful things- stylish cars, elegant fashion, beauty products and exotic travel. We have magazines full of stunning photo shoots of fashion models promoting fashion hair, makeup and glamour. It becomes repetitive and boring.
In my daily routine I live in a comfortable home with a landscaped yard in a neighbourhood with scenic greenbelts and parks. I am so familiar with these places that I can be inured to their beauty and lose interest.
I feel like I am at a fabulous ‘all you can eat’ visual buffet, but I am completely satiated by the deluge. I have lost my appetite.
Repetitive Ennui
WIth overabundance and familiarity, images become repetitive and boring.
The visual brain/ memory connection can instantaneously recognize a familiar scene. Based on the need to quickly process threats or safety, our brain unconsciously dismisses an image as familiar and not worth engaging further.
As an artist, I need to be intrigued by what I see. I need to refresh my eyes. If I am not engaged with what I see and create, how can I interest a viewer? It’s my business to create intriguing images.
Mess Up, Mash Up
To reactivate my sight senses I sometimes create fun new images from by collage. Here are a few examples.
I took pictures from old magazines or calendars and used scissors and glue to rearrange the cuttings. This an iconic Lawren Harris painting that I cut into strips and recomposed.The collage engages the viewer to try unscramble the scene.
Magazines are full of beautiful images that we usually glance at an move on. I reconfigured these photos to engage my mind to interpret the mixture of familar and unfamiliar components. Our brains need some ambiguity to be engaged.
Pattern Recognition
Here is a photo of a rhododendron from my garden that is a common scene at this time of year.
I used a photo editor on my tablet to re- colour the photo into something more painterly. Our brains love to see patterns, especially patterns containing a degree of randomness or disruption.
Ambiguity
I think an essential aspect of painting is to keep the eye and the mind engaged. It’s not so easy to do when we live in a world that is over-saturated with imagery.
This drawing may be simple, but there is enough ambiguity to be somewhat intriguing, which makes it interesting.
