Art Archives - Page 4 of 6 - The Aging Artist

Birthday Thoughts

Happy Birthday?

My 76 th birthday is at the end of May. I am having a difficult time celebrating. I feel more loss than gain. The year has added a few more wrinkles, increased my alopecia, and blurred my vision. Overhearing my dentist refer to me as that ‘kindly old man’ popped my self-belief that I was still in middle age.

How Long?

The author, Oliver Burkman, recently wrote that we are typically born with 4000 weeks of life. Crap! I have used all of my allotment. How can I give myself another 1000 weeks?

Am I a Statistic?

The internet offers endless advice on how to live longer. While advice is valuable, it also creates stress. Should I be more careful and cautious? Am I walking enough? Too much? Am I eating the best diet? Am I doing the right exercise? On and on and on.

Life expectancy is a statistical estimate. There’s no guarantee how long life may last. And no way to know. While I sometimes feel old, and I foresee infirmity in the future, I rebel at these thoughts. I don’t want to base my life on statistical analysis!

Carpe Diem (Seize the Day)

Hell no! I’m not ready to go. I won’t give in or give up!
I still am healthy so it’s my time to live my dreams and indulge in my passions. I want to do the things I love regardless of consequences (well almost regardless). I want to heed the advice from this popular quote.

If I had my life to live over, I’d dare to make more mistakes next time. I’d relax, I would limber up. I would be sillier than I have been this trip. I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I would eat more ice cream and less beans. I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I’d have fewer imaginary ones…If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would go to more dances. I would ride more merry-go-rounds. I would pick more daisies. “
Nadine Stair

My birthday wish is to be more carefree and less serious about life. I want to view life as a wonderful sequence of moments across a full spectrum, from hard to easy, from sad to happy. I want to take down the filters of apprehension and experience the thrill of the ride! I will happily take another 1000, 500 or 50 weeks of moment to moment life.

Paintings of Life in the Moment (from NSCAD Studio Sessions)

“Life is what happens while busy with other plans” Oil on Canvas

Why Beauty?

Sunrise, Sunset

Today my thoughts went in a strange direction. I woke to see the sun outside my window. Nowadays sunrises and sunsets seem rather ordinary or ‘ho hum’. The pale pink clouds seemed quite special after a week of overcast and rainy mornings.

This led me to ask two questions. Why can humans be moved to rapture by a sunrise? Who is able to find and appreciate the beauty in a scene?

Sentient Beings

I did at tiny bit of research. Consciousness or sentience is probably a requirement for appreciating beauty. This would eliminate the whole inorganic world of rocks, air or water from beauty awareness. I read that only animals with central nervous systems are capable of consciousness. This would eliminate all plants. A field of daffodils cannot be aware of its beauty. What about primitive animals? Can we suppose that in the Cretaceous Period a Tyrannosaur might stand on a hilltop and enjoy the setting sun?

Appreciating Beauty?https://bgr.com/science/t-rex-population-study/

If Darwin’s theory of survival of the fittest has merit, many creatures would be more preoccupied with life and death concerns and would have little desire to enjoy the scenery.

Is Beauty Necessary?

Why did animals evolve the ability to see and appreciate beauty? Does beauty offer an evolutionary advantage? Perhaps it is an offshoot of the reproductive instinct whereby animals select the most beautiful mate. Other attributes such as strength or stamina may be better mating criteria than beauty. Perhaps a beautiful partner increases the urge to procreate.

A sense of beauty may have evolved from the care that animals give their offspring. Love and beauty have much in common. If so, then most mammals and birds are capable of appreciating beauty. Even so, we beauty seekers are in rare company.

Does Beauty Exist?

If a tree falls in the forest, does it make a sound if no one hears it? Does beauty exist if no one sees it? So much natural beauty is unseen and unappreciated.

Astronomical Numbers

An imagined star rise in another galaxy
https://www.dreamstime.com/

Consider only sunrises or sunsets. Billions of years of sunsets in a million places were never witnessed because there were no sentient beings in existence. Astronomers inform us that there are millions of galaxies each with billions of stars. This means there are trllions of incredible star rises or star sets on uninhabited worlds that are never witnessed.

Beauty and Art

Beauty and art have a close connection. Beholding something beautiful often inspires the creation process.

How lucky we are to be one of the rare (in geological history terms) sentient beings who can appreciate the sunrise over the ocean, or the colourful leaves of autumn.

Such beauty, created by patterns of light and shadow, inspires my paintings. I mix and splash paint into abstracted colour patches that form recognizable images from afar.

Fall into Winter, Acrylic on Canvas, 30″x 40″

Art School

Reason Over Passion

Although I always loved drawing from early childhood, I always felt pressure to do something ‘serious’ that would lead to a career. I was good, very good, at science and math. I liked learning how the world worked.

In 1957 the Soviet Union launched the first satellite, Sputnik 1, into space. This was a historic event, and the West came under tremendous pressure to win the ‘space race’. I was strongly encouraged to pursue science and become a physicist. (I never really knew what this meant, but it sounded glamorous.) I worked hard to get an Engineering Physics degree and a PhD in Solid State Physics. By 1972 this early dream was realized as I became a research scientist.

I put off art as significant activity for years, then decades. My artistic desires were not completely buried. I would visit art galleries, design house renovations, and take art classes. Some inner longing was never fully satisfied.

In 2007 as my career as a scientist I was drawing to a close, I wondered what I might do with my retirement years. I could retire in my early 60’s so I had energy, income and time. Could I indulge in a fantasy and take up art seriously? Slowly an idea emerged. What if I went to art school?

Dream vs Reality

Halifax had one of the best art universities in Canada. I felt excited and nervous that an art vocation could become a reality.

My first step was attending an orientation session at the Nova Scotia College of Art and Design (NSCAD). The lecture hall was filled with high school students. My age, my outlook, and my apparel set me apart. I felt so out of place. I was filled with doubt. Was I too old? Could I learn new subjects? Could I become creative or artistic?

My art aspirations might have ended right there, but the possibility of joining the art world overcame my hesitation. I enrolled in first year of art school. My commitment to attend NSCAD had escape routes. I enrolled one semester at a time and gave myself permission to quit anytime.

Changing Paths

Art school became one of the most satisfying experiences of my life. I loved it! Age did not seem a matter once classes began, and everyone shared in a passion to make art.

**Studios and Class Critiques at NSCAD**

The four years were filled with challenges and learning. I tried everything from print and film making, to sculpture, ceramics, drawing, and painting. I learned how to weld, use a potter’s wheel, paint with oils, cast bronze, and use computer graphics. Best of all almost every course involved working in a studio to create things. I loved art history too: it provided a connection from the old masters to cubism and abstract expressionism.

In 2011 I graduated with a Bachelor of Fine Art in Painting. I feel fortunate that I made the right decision to attend NSCAD.

Dreams Can Come True

Its not too late to make our dream a reality. Start by taking small doable steps. Each step forms the new path which leads us to our new destination.

“Two roads diverged in a wood and I – I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference”

– Robert Frost

Lost and Found

Lost

I remember the day in grade 1 that my life changed. My teacher asked everyone in the class to sing a solo. “Oh no!” We never sang at home, and I had never sung on my own.

One by one the other kids sang. Soon it was my turn. I stood and nervously stammered “Mary had a little lamb, its fleece was white as snow”. I heard the girl behind me say “He isn’t singing, he’s talking”.

In honesty, she was right about my monotone, but those words shattered my young ego. I gave up all hope of ever singing. For the next 30 years I never sang where I might be heard. I avoided situations where singing was a possibility. I gave up wanting to play a musical instrument.

People tell me they don’t do art because “I can’t draw”. At some point in their childhood they may have experienced my singing humiliation. How easily an offhand or candid comment can create discouragement for a tentative artist. Criticism can be devastating and stop us in our tracks.

Found

To my wife, singing and music-making come naturally. Her musicality is magic to me. A wonderful thing happened. She witnessed the pain singing was creating in me. She encouraged me and helped me with my problem. She patiently gave me piano lessons. She listened to me sing and noted that I could hit several notes on key.

I will never be a musician, but the fear of singing has diminished and I participate in musical activities. Music can be fun: I occasionally create pleasing sounds in solitude with a keyboard.

Making art is far more than drawing. Some of the most accomplished artists don’t draw well or choose to draw awkwardly. Look at

Jean Michel Basquiat https://www.wikiart.org/en/jean-michel-basquiat

Philip Guston https://www.philipguston.org/home or

David Salle http://www.davidsallestudio.net/.

It can be about colour, expressiveness, exuberance, gesture and pattern.

Discovery

For those who feel they can’t draw, consider trying art again. Take the chance. Pick up a crayon, pencil or brush and make some marks. Remember how a 3 year old child might do it. That’s a good place to start.

Canvas with acrylic blobs and splashes, cropped into squares

“Drawing is a skill you can learn even if you don’t have talent. Drawing requires … skills that people do not acquire at birth. Although some people may naturally draw better than others initially, practice and study are the factors that differentiate a good artist from a common one.” (see link below)

https://enhancedrawing.com/is-drawing-talent-or-skill/#:~:text=Drawing%20is%20a%20skill%20you,artist%20from%20a%20common%20one.

I sometimes think there is nothing so delightful as drawing.” Vincent van Gogh

Political Art

Real Courage

A recent post was about the courage to be an artist. This courage pales in comparison to the courage of those caught up in the war in Ukraine. My fears of failure and criticism seem trivial in comparison to the betrayal, loss and suffering faced by Ukrainians as their lives and country are threatened with extermination.

If a purpose of art is to raise awareness and to change our point of view, journalists and photographers are the artists in Ukraine. The graphic images show the terrible realities of this conflict. The montage of imagery and narrative are compelling. I find it hard to look away.

Gratitude

What do I do with the feelings that arise when I see parts of the world under intense conflict? Imagining being in their shoes is so inadequate. I feel guilt for my good fortune. I feel like I am betraying something important when I turn off the Internet and think about what to have for lunch.

I thank the gods that I am not living in countries where politics and aggression have destabilized daily existence- places like Ukraine Iran, Iraq, Syria, Afghanistan or Somalia. Civilians have to rebuild their lives under difficult circumstances. How lucky I am that my daily decisions feature simple choices- soup or sandwich? walk or workout? Netflix or Itunes? To be so fortunate!

Painting and Politics

A few years ago I created a political painting about the Syrian civil war. It could equally apply to Putin and Ukraine. I don’t pretend to know the history of this conflict and the important nuances of the situation. My outrage is focused on autocratic leaders who depict anyone in opposition to be traitors. Like the Greek Gods, these autocrats wreak havoc on their perceived enemies with terrible consequences.

My apologiies to Michelangelo for borrowing his depiction of god and his wrath.

“Who is the Slayer and Who the Victim? Speak! “ (Sophocles)

Value or Meaning?

I realize that my moral authority to judge and depict this terrible situation is weak. I have no direct experience with civil war and world politics. I wonder about the sincerity behind my painting. What is my real motivation?

Maybe I need to show how clever I am.
Maybe I want to show I am a ‘serious’ artist.
Maybe I converted a mere cartoon into a painting.

Does my internal chatter change anything? The painting is done. You can decide if it has value or meaning.