Fear and Anxiety
Making art can be discouraging. Very discouraging. Maybe it has to do with expectations. I have been drawing and painting for decades now but I still feel many moments of fear and anxiety.
The wonderful and discouraging thing about art is that it is so open ended. As one improves, one realizes there is so much more to learn. This applies to almost any endeavour- sports, gardening, cooking, writing or music.
Anyone who draws or paints will encounter fear to some degree. We all seek approval, even if the viewers are just friends or family. I feel some fear when I show my art to my wife. She is candid and speaks her truth about her preferences. What I create is usually a mismatch with her likes, so I may feel discouraged by her comments.
Showing work to the viewing public may create a fear of rejection, a fear of criticism or fear of mockery. Showing work in a gallery is hard too. I fear that no one will buy my paintings, especially if I am trying a new subject or technique. Some viewers may be amused by my work and gaze a few moments before moving on. Is anyone willing to pay money to purchase the painting to view it frequently?
There are many artists in Nova Scotia who do wonderful work. Does my work compare favourably with other artists? Are other artists competitors or rivals? Will they approve or will they criticize?
Courage
I have discovered that it takes courage to be an artist, much more than I had anticipated. Its one thing to paint in the solitude of the studio. Its quite another to put the artwork out for public scrutiny, even on a wall in you own home.
Expressing oneself is not easy. I feel empathetic to the courage of people who perform before an audience- musicians, professional athletes, theatre actors or authors. They face rejection but overcome it to express themselves and their beliefs, feelings and ideas.
It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”
― E.E. Cummings
Rewards
On the other hand there are tangible rewards for taking the risk of rejection and making art. Few years ago a gallery sold one of my landscapes but I had forgotten to sign it. The new owners wanted my signature on the painting. I felt somewhat embarressed by the oversight and arranged to quietly correct the omission. When I arrived at their home, I was greeting with great fanfare. They were so happy to meet me. I was ushered into their dining room where the painting was the centrepiece. After I added my signature they took photos of me with the painting. They told me they love to look at the painting and find new things.
I was truly surprised that paintings grow new lives with their new owners and are often treasured. Knowing this is reason enough to keep painting.
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
Winston S. Churchill
A very interesting topic. I agree that it must take courage to continue on as an artist and also as we get older. We are willing to take a risk and live our largest lives? Or do we hide in the basement watching tv or do we overcome fear and lethargy.
I’m always admiring the challenges you take on in your art as this blog clearly indicates. We are delighted to have many of your wonderful paintings in our house. I’m very happy that you have found the success that you have in your art and your life. We would like to have more of your art and hope someday to purchase a large landscape.
When I submitted my work to NSCAD to study art, I wrote that my reason for studying art was that I had been having difficulties expressing myself in English. I thought that art would help me to express myself. I majored in photography, but did not become a photographer or artist because of my fear that “I was not good enough…”, Indeed I was not good enough and had no desire to become an artist
To me, an artist is someone who expresses themselves freely. You cannot always expect everyone to understand what you would like to convey; whether it is beauty, anger, sadness, comfort, frustration, pleasure, etc.
When I was a NSCAD student over 20 years ago, I was uncomfortable visiting someone’s show and not understanding what they were trying to say. I thought it was my own fault, that I didn’t understand English well enough, or didn’t understand their background to understand their art.
Are we able to communicate in any language and convey our thoughts 100%? I wonder if that is possible. Words have meanings, they are a code to express thoughts, but I wonder if words are code for feelings. I think that the feeling you would like to convey to the viewer through your art would be understood by those who feel similarly, while those with different life experiences may not understand it.
To me, selling your art is like finding your soulmates, but even those who do not buy your art would still appreciate and admire your skills and talents.