Art Archives - Page 2 of 2 - The Aging Artist

Exclusive or Inclusive?

The ‘In Crowd’

I have always aspired to be part of the ‘In Crowd’. These are the people with the talent, beauty, or wealth that formed an inner circle of elites. To belong to this exclusive group is the mark of success and status. In high school I was envious of classmates who were more popular, more athletic, more handsome. I wanted what they had. I was unhappy about my inadequacy.

When, in disgrace with fortune and men’s eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featured like him, like him with friends possessed,
Desiring this man’s art and that man’s scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;…
Shakespeare, Sonnet 29

As a consequence, I imagined there must be a hierarchy of people based on their talent, beauty or wealth. The beautiful, rich and talented ones were superior to me while all others were in some way inferior. I envied those I judged to be superior and ignored those who were far below. This judgment colours many social situations.

Chasing Success

Society seems to reward achievement. Fame and reward go to those who succeed. Since I was a boy I have had this desire to be better than I am. I had to learn, study, and practice to be better in all aspects of my life.

In my need to succeed, I based my personal worth on performance. My sense of well being was dependent on approval. Instead of accepting that I was not musical or good at baseball, I concluded that I was a flawed person because of my poor skills. Even in activities I was good at, I found people who were better (hence superior) to me.

Much of my adult life I have felt an inadequacy about my capabilities, particularly in art. I still see the hierarchy that defines my place within the art world. I want to be invited into ‘In Crowd’, but often feel on the outside looking in and looking up.

Worthy or Not?

Awareness of my attitude came while attending my son’s grade 2 Christmas concert. As each class performed, I looked at the children. I noticed the kids with the best costume, the best voice, or the prettiest appearance.

Then I heard an inner voice say “Look at the children who are unseen”. I started seeing the plain kids, the shy ones, and those I judged to be unattractive. I suddenly felt terrible. Aren’t all children worthy of consideration?

In that moment I saw an ugly truth about my attitude. Those I judged above me deserved my respect. Those below were ignored and unworthy of my attention.

Who is worthy?

Who am I to judge anyone’s worth? Aren’t we all worthy of acceptance and inclusion? Can I be accepted even if I fail to impress? Maybe if I accepted others for their present capabilities, I could feel accepted too.

It’s not only others who I am shunning. I am also shunning parts of me that I consider inferior. Can I bring myself back into wholeness with a more inclusive outlook?

As I get older, the more I stay focused on the acceptance of myself and others, and choose compassion over judgment and curiosity over fear.“
Tracee Ellis Ross

Accepting Myself

No wonder my need for achievement was so important. If I failed to perform, I would be unworthy. I would feel shame in the presence of superior artists. My artwork would be judged and dismissed by the serious art world.

Still wanting to join an exclusive club of ‘successful’ artists is misdirected effort. Rather than feeling despondent that I am not a leading artist, or a prestigious award winner or a media favourite, it’s time that I accepted myself for who I am as an artist. Rather than lamenting what I am not, I want to feel that I have a role in the art scene.

I Don’t Want to Belong to Any Club That Will Accept Me as a Member
Groucho Marx

Community

I no longer want the art world to feel like an elitist hierarchy where I feel excluded. I want the art world to be a community of unique creators. I want to embrace the community of artists that I already know. I want to welcome artists who may be unseen and unappreciated.

All artists start as novices. Like the children in the Christmas concert, we are first unseen and unrecognized. Through continuous effort and years of practice we work our way to success and recognition. The journey starts with the sheer love of making marks on paper, doodling or mixing colours. These worthy activities are necessary for something new to arise.

Making marks, splashing colour, doodling, finding sermons in stones, patterns in wood

Accepting Results

Not everyone climbs to the top of the art pyramid. Recognition and reward often lie beyond our control. We need to accept the rewards we are given. That should be perfectly fine. Our self worth is not dependent on achievement. We can be satisfied with the effort we make. The true reward is the journey we take in pursuing our dreams.

The journey between what you once were and who you are now becoming is where the dance of life really takes place. –
Barbara De Angelis

Young at Heart

“Its not how old you are, its how you are old.”
― Jules Renard

https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/224285.Jules_Renard

Age is Only a Number

Several readers reponded to my post “Time Out”. They revealed to me that they feel much younger than their biological age. I agree.

As we get older we often get preoccupied by the health of our physical bodies and lament that we can no longer run long distances or party all night long. We forget about the parts that aren’t aging.

Portrayals Beyond Middle Age

We can also feel old because the culture tells us that old means old. Look at the way older people are portrayed in books and media. Old fictional characters are usually parents or grandparents; they connote wisdom, caution, and prudence. They are usually not the central characters and are incidental to the main story. There are numerous scenes on the travails of aging.

The worst portayals are for the very old. How many stories and tales have we read where the villain is the old crone, the old miser, the hag, the codger? Old people are described as ancient relics, who are dilapitated, feeble, senile, wizened, grumpy, and crotchety.

https://curioushistorian.com/legendary-grannies-hags-in-celtic-myths

https://www.twinkl.ca/illustration/witch-pointing-mobile-arm-fairytale-hansel-gretel-person-old-crone-mps-ks2

https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/128423026844891576/

Downhill Slide

Our culture seems to suggest life is a long letdown beyond middle age. Retiree’s are past their prime, put out to pasture, irrelevant and unproductive. Old people are expendable or superfluous in many analyses. Economists seem concerned that the aging population is a huge burden on society and the economy.

Mental Age

Old people may be retired, but they are not irrelevant or out to pasture. They are not crones and codgers!

What’s the lesson here? For myself I don’t see myself as being old. Parts of me still feel like I was 20, 30 or 40 years ago. My personality hasn’t changed too much. I can still be silly, impulsive, adventurous, or witty. I sometimes am a goof or a joker! I proudly say I still have an immaturity that doesn’t seem to go away.

Innate Personality

Probably most of our personality traits were imprinted by our DNA, and were present since birth. There are parts of us we cannot change and probably don’t want to change. Our spirit and soul are built around these fundamental traits. Our spirit is full of life energy. When we feel our true selves, we feel young at heart. I imagine this spark will glow until the very end.

Benefits of Age

Being old can be freedom to be who we really are. Lifelong challenges of parenting and career often meant sacrificing our own needs. Now we have an opportunity to explore other parts of our personality. We can relax. We can do things for the fun of it.

A New Childhood

Children have no standards for playing tag, making mud pies, or drawing with crayons. We can do things badly as long as we enjoy it. Let’s have some fun! Let’s share our humour and provoke creative inspiration. Let’s re-create our childhood enjoyment of playtime.

If we allow it, the lawyer can become a chef, possibly a novice but happy chef. The bricklayer can be a sculptor, the nurse an artist, the executive a musician, the truck driver a cyclist.

Do you see the old or young person inside?

“It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.” ― Tom Robbins, Still Life with Woodpecker

When we meet our friends and colleagues, let’s overlook the signs of aging. Beneath the physical exterior shines a wonderful youthful spirit!

Image from1888 German postcard, later adapted by William Ely Hill, who published it in a humor magazine in 1915

Humour

“God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.”

“I feel like my body has gotten out of shape, so I joined a fitness club. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But by the time I got my leotards on, the class was already over.”

https://www.scarymommy.com/jokes-seniors

https://www.rd.com/list/old-age-cartoons/

Lost and Found

Lost

I remember the day in grade 1 that my life changed. My teacher asked everyone in the class to sing a solo. “Oh no!” We never sang at home, and I had never sung on my own.

One by one the other kids sang. Soon it was my turn. I stood and nervously stammered “Mary had a little lamb, its fleece was white as snow”. I heard the girl behind me say “He isn’t singing, he’s talking”.

In honesty, she was right about my monotone, but those words shattered my young ego. I gave up all hope of ever singing. For the next 30 years I never sang where I might be heard. I avoided situations where singing was a possibility. I gave up wanting to play a musical instrument.

People tell me they don’t do art because “I can’t draw”. At some point in their childhood they may have experienced my singing humiliation. How easily an offhand or candid comment can create discouragement for a tentative artist. Criticism can be devastating and stop us in our tracks.

Found

To my wife, singing and music-making come naturally. Her musicality is magic to me. A wonderful thing happened. She witnessed the pain singing was creating in me. She encouraged me and helped me with my problem. She patiently gave me piano lessons. She listened to me sing and noted that I could hit several notes on key.

I will never be a musician, but the fear of singing has diminished and I participate in musical activities. Music can be fun: I occasionally create pleasing sounds in solitude with a keyboard.

Making art is far more than drawing. Some of the most accomplished artists don’t draw well or choose to draw awkwardly. Look at

Jean Michel Basquiat https://www.wikiart.org/en/jean-michel-basquiat

Philip Guston https://www.philipguston.org/home or

David Salle http://www.davidsallestudio.net/.

It can be about colour, expressiveness, exuberance, gesture and pattern.

Discovery

For those who feel they can’t draw, consider trying art again. Take the chance. Pick up a crayon, pencil or brush and make some marks. Remember how a 3 year old child might do it. That’s a good place to start.

Canvas with acrylic blobs and splashes, cropped into squares

“Drawing is a skill you can learn even if you don’t have talent. Drawing requires … skills that people do not acquire at birth. Although some people may naturally draw better than others initially, practice and study are the factors that differentiate a good artist from a common one.” (see link below)

https://enhancedrawing.com/is-drawing-talent-or-skill/#:~:text=Drawing%20is%20a%20skill%20you,artist%20from%20a%20common%20one.

I sometimes think there is nothing so delightful as drawing.” Vincent van Gogh