Art Archives - Page 5 of 6 - The Aging Artist

Lost and Found

Lost

I remember the day in grade 1 that my life changed. My teacher asked everyone in the class to sing a solo. “Oh no!” We never sang at home, and I had never sung on my own.

One by one the other kids sang. Soon it was my turn. I stood and nervously stammered “Mary had a little lamb, its fleece was white as snow”. I heard the girl behind me say “He isn’t singing, he’s talking”.

In honesty, she was right about my monotone, but those words shattered my young ego. I gave up all hope of ever singing. For the next 30 years I never sang where I might be heard. I avoided situations where singing was a possibility. I gave up wanting to play a musical instrument.

People tell me they don’t do art because “I can’t draw”. At some point in their childhood they may have experienced my singing humiliation. How easily an offhand or candid comment can create discouragement for a tentative artist. Criticism can be devastating and stop us in our tracks.

Found

To my wife, singing and music-making come naturally. Her musicality is magic to me. A wonderful thing happened. She witnessed the pain singing was creating in me. She encouraged me and helped me with my problem. She patiently gave me piano lessons. She listened to me sing and noted that I could hit several notes on key.

I will never be a musician, but the fear of singing has diminished and I participate in musical activities. Music can be fun: I occasionally create pleasing sounds in solitude with a keyboard.

Making art is far more than drawing. Some of the most accomplished artists don’t draw well or choose to draw awkwardly. Look at

Jean Michel Basquiat https://www.wikiart.org/en/jean-michel-basquiat

Philip Guston https://www.philipguston.org/home or

David Salle http://www.davidsallestudio.net/.

It can be about colour, expressiveness, exuberance, gesture and pattern.

Discovery

For those who feel they can’t draw, consider trying art again. Take the chance. Pick up a crayon, pencil or brush and make some marks. Remember how a 3 year old child might do it. That’s a good place to start.

Canvas with acrylic blobs and splashes, cropped into squares

“Drawing is a skill you can learn even if you don’t have talent. Drawing requires … skills that people do not acquire at birth. Although some people may naturally draw better than others initially, practice and study are the factors that differentiate a good artist from a common one.” (see link below)

https://enhancedrawing.com/is-drawing-talent-or-skill/#:~:text=Drawing%20is%20a%20skill%20you,artist%20from%20a%20common%20one.

I sometimes think there is nothing so delightful as drawing.” Vincent van Gogh

Political Art

Real Courage

A recent post was about the courage to be an artist. This courage pales in comparison to the courage of those caught up in the war in Ukraine. My fears of failure and criticism seem trivial in comparison to the betrayal, loss and suffering faced by Ukrainians as their lives and country are threatened with extermination.

If a purpose of art is to raise awareness and to change our point of view, journalists and photographers are the artists in Ukraine. The graphic images show the terrible realities of this conflict. The montage of imagery and narrative are compelling. I find it hard to look away.

Gratitude

What do I do with the feelings that arise when I see parts of the world under intense conflict? Imagining being in their shoes is so inadequate. I feel guilt for my good fortune. I feel like I am betraying something important when I turn off the Internet and think about what to have for lunch.

I thank the gods that I am not living in countries where politics and aggression have destabilized daily existence- places like Ukraine Iran, Iraq, Syria, Afghanistan or Somalia. Civilians have to rebuild their lives under difficult circumstances. How lucky I am that my daily decisions feature simple choices- soup or sandwich? walk or workout? Netflix or Itunes? To be so fortunate!

Painting and Politics

A few years ago I created a political painting about the Syrian civil war. It could equally apply to Putin and Ukraine. I don’t pretend to know the history of this conflict and the important nuances of the situation. My outrage is focused on autocratic leaders who depict anyone in opposition to be traitors. Like the Greek Gods, these autocrats wreak havoc on their perceived enemies with terrible consequences.

My apologiies to Michelangelo for borrowing his depiction of god and his wrath.

“Who is the Slayer and Who the Victim? Speak! “ (Sophocles)

Value or Meaning?

I realize that my moral authority to judge and depict this terrible situation is weak. I have no direct experience with civil war and world politics. I wonder about the sincerity behind my painting. What is my real motivation?

Maybe I need to show how clever I am.
Maybe I want to show I am a ‘serious’ artist.
Maybe I converted a mere cartoon into a painting.

Does my internal chatter change anything? The painting is done. You can decide if it has value or meaning.

It’s Not too Late

Age is Only a Number

The joy of creating art can start even very late in life. I was in my 60’s when I made a commitment to make art my avocation. My father was a small business owner who worked long hours until he retired at 75. He developed a jack-of-all-trades capability to keep store and home in working order and had little time for hobbies or art. After his late retirement, dad started bird carving lessons. Over the next 10 to 15 years he carved and painted many birds- mostly song birds with the occasional hawk or owl. These birds provided many satisfying hours of labour and creativity.

Art After Four Score Years

As the years passed, my parents moved to an assisted living home. They no longer were able to cook or do yardwork or household chores.

The Garrison Green Seniors’ Home in Calgary is a wonderful place to spend the later years of life. The many in-house concerts by musicians of all genres, provided cultural enrichment of the residents.

This facility had a fully equipped art studio which was open to all residents. The studio provided art instruction on drawing, painting, collage and ceramics. The studio provided paper, canvas, brushes, paint, art books, tables and easels to anyone (residents and guests) who wanted to try art. It was open all day, 7 days a week. An amazing variety of artwork, created by the residents, were displayed in the halls and public areas. The art studio became a vibrant community, alive with inspiration and creative energy.

To learn more about the Garrison Green art studio: https://unitedactiveliving.com/communities/garrison-green/?utm_medium=adwords&utm_campaign=google&utm_source=gmb-listing#t1)

My mother had been a busy housewife and charity volunteer. She was a sewer, but she never showed an inclination to draw or paint. In her 90th year she discovered a new passion in the art studio. She went to the art studio almost every day and created many beautiful paintings. Her landscapes featured the mountains, trees and flowers which she loved. My father, after he stopped carving, also took up painting and continued to make art well after he turned 100.

Some of my most enjoyable visits with my parents were in the art studio, painting together.

Satisfying hours in the Garrison Green art studio.

Legacy

Art doesn’t have to be professional to be meaningful. Art satisfies the creator, and if the work is heartfelt, it provides meaning and value to the viewer.

Sadly mum and dad passed away during (but not due to) the COVID pandemic. It is a comfort that I have a few artworks that remind me of their creative spirits.

Courage to Paint

Fear and Anxiety

Making art can be discouraging. Very discouraging. Maybe it has to do with expectations. I have been drawing and painting for decades now but I still feel many moments of fear and anxiety.

The wonderful and discouraging thing about art is that it is so open ended. As one improves, one realizes there is so much more to learn. This applies to almost any endeavour- sports, gardening, cooking, writing or music.

Anyone who draws or paints will encounter fear to some degree. We all seek approval, even if the viewers are just friends or family. I feel some fear when I show my art to my wife. She is candid and speaks her truth about her preferences. What I create is usually a mismatch with her likes, so I may feel discouraged by her comments.

Showing work to the viewing public may create a fear of rejection, a fear of criticism or fear of mockery. Showing work in a gallery is hard too. I fear that no one will buy my paintings, especially if I am trying a new subject or technique. Some viewers may be amused by my work and gaze a few moments before moving on. Is anyone willing to pay money to purchase the painting to view it frequently?

There are many artists in Nova Scotia who do wonderful work. Does my work compare favourably with other artists? Are other artists competitors or rivals? Will they approve or will they criticize?

Courage

I have discovered that it takes courage to be an artist, much more than I had anticipated. Its one thing to paint in the solitude of the studio. Its quite another to put the artwork out for public scrutiny, even on a wall in you own home.

Expressing oneself is not easy. I feel empathetic to the courage of people who perform before an audience- musicians, professional athletes, theatre actors or authors. They face rejection but overcome it to express themselves and their beliefs, feelings and ideas.

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”
― E.E. Cummings

Rewards

On the other hand there are tangible rewards for taking the risk of rejection and making art. Few years ago a gallery sold one of my landscapes but I had forgotten to sign it. The new owners wanted my signature on the painting. I felt somewhat embarressed by the oversight and arranged to quietly correct the omission. When I arrived at their home, I was greeting with great fanfare. They were so happy to meet me. I was ushered into their dining room where the painting was the centrepiece. After I added my signature they took photos of me with the painting. They told me they love to look at the painting and find new things.

I was truly surprised that paintings grow new lives with their new owners and are often treasured. Knowing this is reason enough to keep painting.

Landscape painting missing my signature 30″ x 40″

Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
Winston S. Churchill

Offence or Defence?

My Scientific Career in the Cold War

The war in Ukraine is bringing up difficult financial, political and ethical questions for Canadians as we respond to the Russian invasion.

When I completed my PhD in physics in 1971, the Cold War was still a dominating concern. I was looking for a career in science and wanted a job that brought adventure and travel as well as research. I felt very fortunate to get a job with the Canadian Department of National Defence at their Victoria laboratory.

One of the top missions of the laboratory concerned the defence of Canada from Soviet nuclear attack. I joined a team of scientists making field trips to the Canadian Arctic to develop new sensors for detecting Soviet missile submarines infiltrating Canadian waters. The classified research was added to Canada’s inventory of defence capability.

By the 1980’s the Cold War thawed when the USSR dissolved and imminent threat of nuclear war seemed to disappear. I moved on to do research in other areas of defence concern.

In retrospect the Cold War seemed like ‘paranoia’ and an over reaction to political rhetoric. But nuclear weapons are real. I would never want to go back to the fear and sense of impending doom that coloured politics during those decades.

Ethical Issues

To be honest I have an ethical unease with my career as a defence scientist. I was contributing to the arsenal of military systems. I justified my work by saying I was developing sensors not weapons. They were for defence and not offence. But I have no control over what our leaders do with the military systems that are stockpiled.

“Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds”
from the Bhagavad Gita quoted by the physicist Robert Oppenheimer on the first test of the Atomic Bomb ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J._Robert_Oppenheimer)

Inevitably when war comes, it’s the innocent people who suffer the most. Even though my family were mainly not involved in the fighting of WW2, there were long lasting consequences that are being felt for decades. That is another story.

The Ukraine conflict is giving Canadians difficult choices.

Are we going to risk escalation and wideing of warfare to support Ukraine?
How do we contain or stop aggression?
When do we stand by or when do we intervene?

In the background is the threat of nuclear war. We would all lose.

“We had to destroy the town in order to save it”.

What motivates us to want war? For some, belief trumps all. “Better dead than red”. Give me liberty or give me death”. Is war justified in certain instances? Is it analogous to saying we bombarded your body with radiation to kill off the cancer? The cure justifies the collateral damage. Fighting may seem justified, if we are struggling for our own survival, but its not so clear when other lives are at stake. Isn’t love of humankind a higher calling?

I have no answers for myself on these ethical problems. They are no longer just abstract questions, they will demand a response and action. Even inaction is an action that will have consequences.

Leadership

I hope we have picked leaders who are people with moral courage and compassion. Leaders who see a bigger picture, willing to make difficult choices on our behalf and share in the challenges that arise.