Unexpected Events
I expected 2024 to unfold like the year before. I expected it to be comfortable and routine.
Extremism
2024 was the worst of times. The external world and my personal world were unexpectedly chaotic. (Okay, I should have expected the outer world to be an unpredictable mess.) There were housing crises, immigration crises, and political crises. There were hurricanes, floods, forest fires and extreme heat. Economies faced inflation and stagnation. There were revolutions and wars. Artificial Intelligence threatened jobs and humanity.
Down in the Depths
Personally 2024 began with the threat of metastatic cancer. Numerous tests and scans identified prostate cancer and I underwent intense radiation and hormone therapy. It was unpleasant but necessary. In September I had a trabeculectomy to stabilize the glaucoma in my right eye. For a month my eyesight was blurry, and I couldn’t drive or exert myself.
These infirmities overtook my sense of wellbeing. Giving up driving, giving up sports and giving up painting and living a shorter life seemed imminent possibilities.
I felt angry and upset at the way the world was unfolding. I was sad and disappointed. I have been despairing, anxious and reactive. I have felt impatient, frustrated, numb and heartbroken.
Uprisings
Eventually my optimism returned,.In November my oncologist confirmed that my prostate cancer had been eliminated. My eyesight recovered sufficiently to allow me to drive and to play sports. I was able to resume my normal life.
All that I had lost during my infirmity was rediscovered, but with much more value. Normal wasn’t just normal any more. It became wonderful!
I have felt surprised and encouraged, hopeful and appreciative. I have felt relief and compassion, I have experienced thankfulness and contentment. I have felt humbled and honoured.
The Best of Times
Accepting the limits of life changed my perspective. Sometimes I feel unbidden joy and and deep elation. Ultimately 2024 made me much more appreciative of my life. I want to feel the full gamut of emotions.
I want to love, hate, fight for (and against) this crazy unfathomable, overwhelmingly complex ugly and beautiful world.
2025! Bring it on!
