What’s with this event called “Happy Birthday”? It happens once a year to everyone. It’s a day when we get to eat cake, blow out candles and indulge in having our way for 24 hours.
Birthdays were great when we were 9 or 10 and probably peaked at the age of 21 when we became real adults who could drink and vote.
Now as the decades pass, a birthday isn’t so much fun. Like Cinderella after the clock strikes midnight, we are left in tatters. “Holy Bleep!” We are a year older, we look in the mirror and imagine we see a more wrinkles, less hair, and our memory about yesterday has disappeared. We look more like the pumpkin. than prince charming.
we know we are getting old when everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt – doesn’t work.
We know we are old when the candles cost more than the cake.
Pessimistically Optimistic
A birthday happened to me last weekend. I am faced with the cruel reality that I am a year older.
This could be a happy occasion, but I am unsure. The pessimist in me sees the sand draining from the hourglass, and feels infirmities slowly prevailing. Darwin told us only the fittest survive, and I survived another year.
The optimist in me wants to celebrate a year well lived with many many happy moments. My optimist is grateful for the parts that still function well. There is much more than mere survival.
It is not my habit to celebrate my birthday extravagantly. It’s a time of quiet introspection and resolve. It is a time to make changes based on recent experiences.
Magnificence
I once belonged to a men’s support group. We shared experiences in order to have fuller lives. Each meeting ended with this affirmation:
“We love and accept you just the way you are- in all your magnificence.”
At first this seemed to be an insincere and ridiculous affirmation. We were average, we were broken is various ways. We didn’t love ourselves very much.
However, something happens when we look at each other differently. The key phrase “just the way you are”, means we are worthy right now. We don’t need to improve, or achieve or become. We are accepted unconditionally. We are worthy, we are magnificent!
“Worthy now. Not if. Not when. We are worthy of love and belonging now. Right this minute. As is.”
Brené Brown
Figure drawing helped me see this clearly. As I draw the person before me, I am seeking something unique, something about their spirit. If I am observant enough, I might capture a bit of their magnificence. They are beautiful just the way they are.
Drawings from winter/ spring 2023
My birthday is a good time to apply this affirmation to myself, for myself.
I acknowledge my magnificence just the way I am.
If I don’t see myself as special, no outside compliment will overcome my critical self judgement.
Self Portrait
It’s time for me to find and acknowledge my own uniqueness, my own magnificence- if only for a moment. I am worthy.
That is my birthday present.
I don’t know a perfect person. I only know flawed people who are still worth loving.”
My secret ambition when I started this blog was to reach a large audience. I had visions of blogging to hundreds or thousands of readers. People around the world would ask “what did Ron write about today?” A Google search of a topic in art or aging would quickly lead to this blog. Fame and fortune would soon follow.
This desire was very naive and troubling.
Publicize or Languish
This vision of having a large readership can be ethically dangerous. The quest for fame is akin to the quest for higher profit: more readers, more subscriptions, more clicks, and more money!
To be famous and rich on the web, creating publicity is far more important than writing posts. It is tempting to find ways to ‘go viral’ to get readers.
Tempting Headlines
Here are some ways newspapers and websites create publicity and attention.
Fake News, False Facts
False information and fake news proliferate on the internet. People write almost anything to get noticed.
Provoke Controversy
If fake news doesn’t work, news channels use outrageous provocation to press our hot buttons to get us upset. The tabloids and their prominent columnists peddle sensational and controversial opinions. Their rhetoric instills curiosity and outrage.
News and information are becoming so biased and opinionated that we are wary of any information provided by the web. Facts and truth get lost to emotional reactions. Websites that provide factual information in a unbiased and rational manner are often overlooked and hard to find.
Stupidity and Misfortune
Writers provoke our curiosity by revealing the stupidity or misfortune of others.
Free Stuff or Easy Cheats
Other headlines tell us how to get more from less, to get more clicks on a webpage.
Catastrophizing Life
Headlines tell us what’s wrong with people, society or the world to get our attention.
“… it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.”
Macbeth, William Shakespeare
My Headlines
Based on these tried and true techniques to grab attention, I should create provocative headlines to attract readers.
Ron’s headlines as clickbait.
He shared what he had with poor peasants
Make 10,000 paintings and sell them for $100
Don’t eat arsenic oil paint
Food for Thought
It’s not surprising that many industries are putting profits ahead of the quality of products they produce. If people can be persuaded to pay more money for a fancier product than why not? Give them what they think they want. It’s usually short term pleasure over long term value.
Much of the food industry tempts people to buy products with promises of more flavour, sweeter taste, easy preparation, quicker cooking, or lower prices.
We can’t be sustained by fancy packaging and instant gratification. It’s no wonder we have an ongoing worldwide health crisis.
We require nutrition that promotes health and well-being. Wholesome food may not be so profitable to the manufacturer, but it will have far more benefit to the consumer.
No! No! No!
Similarly a blog needs to omit the bombast of outrageousness and shock. It needs to offer sustenance with a deeper level of satisfaction.
I am unwilling to provoke publicity just to entice more readers. I would rather have a small faithful readership who selects substance over frivolity. This blog will provide sincere and engaging content without sensationalizing the information.
Information is not knowledge, and knowledge is not wisdom. Reading – even browsing – an old book can yield sustenance denied by a database search. Patience is a virtue, gluttony a sin.”
I feel guilty that I have not produced a new post. Last year I committed to regularly write this blog, possibly every two weeks. Here are reasons why I have not kept this commitment.
Conflict of Interest
Life has offered other tempting activities. Winter came late to Nova Scotia, so I skied the final sunny cold days. Travel planning, drawing and painting occupied my attention. By the end of the day, I felt too tired to work on the blog. I feel guilty that other parts of my life are more important than blogging.
No Value
The blog is not a newspaper that reports events (no matter how mundane) to a paid readership. It’s a waste of effort to create trivial posts just to meet a schedule.
Not all trivial things stay trivial. Seinfeld, one of the most sitcoms, was a show about ‘nothing’. The humour was in the mundane aspects of daily life.
“There’s more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations.”
I won’t publish what I had for breakfast or where I went for my walk. Those may be good topics for Facebook.
Rejected Headlines
Here are a few headlines that I won’t be writing.
Failed Expectations
Other Priorities
Some posts haven’t worked out. I was hoping to present the ideas and works of other artists. I was hoping to discuss the influence of artificial intelligence and radical technologies on art.
These ideas require more research, effort, and insight than I am willing to devote. They may become feasible in the future.
Solution: Quality Over Quantity
A rejected painting
I should only write posts that offer value. I need to reject weak proposals.
The content has to be organized and well written. I should only write and publish articles that meet a high standard.
Half Way Isn’t Far Enough
I have several posts waiting in the queue. They need refinement, revision, editing and imagery to complete the narrative.
Half-done posts should not be published. Like the paintings below they are not ready for viewing, I need to be fully satisfied before I reveal the final product.
Half Done Paintings
Completion
My commitment is to produce fewer but better posts. I need to convert incomplete ideas into finalized works.
Be patient. Keep plugging. Keep working slowly but steadily. The final product should be worth waiting for!
Some beautiful chapters in this book called life, always remain incomplete.”
Last week I got up early to ski, and marveled at the sunrise. What a beautiful start to the day! What will the time ahead bring?
I had fun cruising the ski runs. The day passed quickly and before long the sun was setting over Martock
I was reminded of the lyrics of from the musical, Fiddler on the Roof:
… sunrise, sunset sunrise, sunset, swiftly flow the days. seedlings turn overnight to sunflowers, blossoming even as we gaze.
sunrise, sunset sunrise, sunset swiftly fly the years, one season following another, laiden with happiness and tears…
I can feel the days pass by with each sunset. I wish I could slow down time.
With each sunrise the world slowly changes . I wonder how this slow change will transform as the future unfolds. How far into the future could I look?
1 Day Ahead
Personally not much changes over one day. My heart beats an extra 72,000 times, and I walk another 8000 steps. My calendar contains events similar to today. There is laughter and conversation and joy and sorrow all mixed together. Life seems comfortable and predictable.
1 Year Ahead
In one year my life would not change too much, I can expect some aging to occur. I will have problems maintaining my health and my possessions. World politics will remain turbulent. There will be unforeseen personal and societal events events that could drastically change my life. I should have the resources to handle most of these situations. The days will be full of memorable or meaningful moments. I will witness many sunsets.
Salutation to the Dawn
Listen to the salutation to the dawn, Look to this day for it is life, the very life of life, In its brief course lie all the verities and realities of our existence.
The bliss of growth, the splendor of beauty, For yesterday is but a dream and tomorrow is only a vision,
But today well spent makes every yesterday a dream of happiness and every tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well therefore to this day. Such is the salutation to the dawn.
~Sanskrit, attributed to Kālidāsa
10 Years Ahead
My life will be different a decade from now. My health and family situation will change. My son will establish a career and start a family. My wife and I may be downsizing and living a quieter life. We may be watching the sunset from a seniors’ apartment. The possibility of death and illness loom large.
Life continues normally for almost everyone day by day. The planet has not changed significantly but has provided humankind with the usual chaos of hurricanes, blizzards, droughts and deluges.
100 Years Ahead
I will definitely be dead and gone. I have left a small legacy based on a few paintings that may still exist. A Google search of my name may turn up a few scientific or artistic references. My DNA may live on through my son’s children. I possibly may be someone’s great great grandfather.
We therefore commit this body to the ground, earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; ….’.
Book of Common Prayer
New people will be living in our house, which will be unrecognizable. The neighbourhood may have become dilapidated or torn down and rebuilt. Everything else I own and value will be dispersed or destroyed.
Memories of a long-lost era
The memories and experiences of billions of people will be forgotten with each generation. Most photographs, emails, DVD’s and other media will be lost over the century.
Global warming will have flooded the old shoreline, drastically altering Halifax. The population of Canada will have doubled. Society and technology will be unrecognizable.
The earth’s geography will be altered by climate change and human consumption. Politics and war will have drastically changed the prosperity and hierarchy of nations. The colours of sunrises and sunsets will be affected by the change in climate.
1000 Years ahead
There will be numerous terrible wars (possibly nuclear). The survivors will be trying to rebuild civilization. Will we have learned to cooperate or will we continue with conflict and competition? Will intellect or emotion influence the outcome?
History will say the 20th century was the beginning of the end with the invention of nuclear weapons and the start of climate change. Only the most outrageous and most brilliant people of today will be remembered by history, much like Genghis Khan or Aristotle.
Countries like Canada and USA will no longer exist and new political entities will dominate. The climate will be different, extremely hot or cold and massively influenced by human activity. Wilderness will no longer exist and most wild animals will be extinct. Maybe humankind will be exploring other planets and nearby stars systems.
Almost all material products (cars, electronics, crafts, furniture) from 2023 will be trashed or preserved in museums. All the 21st century buildings and infrastructure will have decayed or been replaced. Cities will have been abandoned or underwater or rebuilt on higher ground.
Alternatively humankind may have developed a profound responsibility to be the earth’s custodian; we may have transformed the planet into a place of peace, enlightenment and harmony, a true heaven on earth.
Although the earth remains geographically similar to 2023, humankind will have endured massive earthquakes and volcanic eruptions, creating spectacular sunsets lasting decades.
Sunrise in 3023?
10,000 Years into the Future
The earth still has a 24 hour day and the sun and moon move in similar orbits. The climate is much hotter than today. Some regions near the equator are uninhabitable by humans and life has moved to the polar regions. The human genome has been altered so humans look and think differently. People will be more diverse and specialized. Humans from 2023 are considered an ancient branch of the modern humanoids of 12023.
Nothing social or cultural we recognize today will exist. Countries, societies and civilizations will be long lost. Fragments from 2023 may still be washed up on beaches or lost underwater.
100,000 Years in the Future
In geological and evolutionary terms 100,000 years is very short. The cycle of day and night continues. The continents have moved a few kilometers. Species have evolved but not too drastically.
The climate will be different. Volcanoes and earthquakes have shattered the continents. The Yellowstone supervolcano has erupted and the San Andreas Fault has ripped California from the continent. Sea levels have changed.
The ability of humans to build or destroy has multiplied by orders of magnitude over the millenia. Human civilization will either be amazing or extinct. If we survive, we will have learned painful lessons on extinction or revival. Sentient beings of some form will exist to witness the sunrise in 102023.
1,000,000 Years in the Future
Over a million years, evolution changes the living world. Every animal and plant species will have changed. New species will thrive while others have perished. Perhaps insects are ascendent over mammals. Humans may have disappeared from the earth’s ecosystem (moving to another planetary system?). Will the world hark back to the time of dinosaurs where life was brutal, dangerous and deadly?
The sun continues to shine offering beautiful sunrises and sunsets every day for whatever creatures roam the planet. There have been over 365,000,000 sunsets since I went skiing.
Planet earth will continue to exist with oceans and continents that have moved to different places. New mountain ranges will rise up and other regions will sink beneath the sea. Who knows what animals and plants will prosper in an atmosphere of vastly different gases. Surely new life forms will dominate the planet. Fortunately living organisms continue to evolve and exist. They will inhabit the earth for another 100 million years.
1,000,000,000 Years in the Future
In a billion years the sun may transform into a red giant, dramatically increasing in size. The oceans and atmosphere will boil and burn away leaving only a rocky crust.
Red sun rising over a dessicated earth
This might be the end of life on earth, but there is something comforting about the immensely long cycle of life in which I have played a minor but real part.
3,000,000,000 Years from Now
In a few billion years, the sun expands massively and explodes as a dying star, ending the cycle of sunrises on earth forever. The earth disappears in the supernova. The end has finally come.
The many sides of the supernova remnant Cassiopeia A. Located 10,000 light-years away in the northern constellation Cassiopeia, Cassiopeia A is the remnant of a once massive star that died in a violent supernova explosion 325 years ago. Hubble Space Telescope (HST), Spitzer Space Telescope. (Photo by: Universal History Archive/Universal Images Group via Getty Images)
Epilogue
At the edge of All the Ages A Knight sate on his steed, His armour red and thin with rust, His soul from sorrow freed; And he lifted up his visor From a face of skin and bone, And his horse turned head and whinnied As the twain stood there alone.
No bird above that steep of time Sang of a livelong quest; No wind breathed, Rest: ‘Lone for an end!’ cried Knight to steed, Loosed an eager rein– Charged with his challenge into Space: And quiet did quiet remain.
by Walter De la Mare (1873 – 1956), “The Song of Fini
I had an unpleasant surprise last week. I caught COVID!
In hindsight I shouldn’t have gone to the gym with a scratchy throat. I felt body aches and chills a few hours after my workout. When a fever developed, I went to bed early. Advil reduced the pain through the night. By morning I was really sick, and I tested positive for COVID!
COVID Fear
My deep fear COVID had been building from the beginning of the pandemic three years ago. Despite precautions I had now succumbed.
I tried to keep my mind from worst case scenarios but questions kept coming. Is this the end of good health? Will my life be changed forever by this contagion?
Fighting COVID
I was hopeful that my four vaccine shots would minimize my reaction to the virus. Government medical advice forn recovering from COVID depended on the severity of the symptoms.
I really felt awful: I had a fever, a raw sore throat, a nagging cough, aching muscles and extreme tiredness. I was also delusional: my mind was fixated on solving my unwellness as a complex puzzle. This delusion lasted two days and subsided when the fever and other symptoms diminished.
Recovery and Gratitude
Lots of rest was the cure. I had to surrender to the biological processes within my body to rescue me from COVID My ego and controlling willfulness were of little value in this fight. A loving and attentive spouse also helped my recovery.
I am relieved! As I write this, more than a week after COVID began, I am recovering well. Recent COVID tests were negative. Although tiredness and a dry cough linger, I retained my sense of smell, and I can breathe freely.
COVID Hindsight
Looking back at the past three years, it is hard to comprehend the toll that COVID has had on the economy and society the world over. Almost every family and individual has been affected in some way.
I am grateful for the innumerable efforts of clinicians, researchers, politicians and front line workers who have done so much to understand COVID and to minimize its impact.
Learning from COVID
Could society, government and individuals have handled this pandemic any differently than they did? There are so many opinions, attitudes and judgements on the source, cause, spread, prevention and cure for COVID. The impact and consequences of COVID have jolted humankind out of complacency.
COVID was a new danger that humankind had never faced. Although it was similar to other ravages in the past, its potential to devastate civilization provided critical moral and ethical dilemmas to everyone.
Lifeboats and Survival
Solving COVID is very similar to the ‘lifeboat’ question in ethics. Suppose you are lost at sea in a lifeboat with 50 people. If the boat can only sustain half that number, what is the solution to survival?
Some libertarians might say it’s the fittest that should survive and everyone should look out for themselves. Others may save the women and children; others would say ‘everyone or no one’. Some would refuse to decide and let circumstances dictate. Some would just give up and slip overboard. Others would defer to an autocratic leader to make all decisions. All of the choices are terrible and horrific for half of the people.
There is no right answer to the lifeboat dilemma. Some choices are better than others. If survival were based on killing the weaker ones, what mean-spirited selfish society would await the survivors?
After COVID
Similarly, what kind of society do we want to have after COVID is overcome? We often think that the only answer is the one we ourselves believe in. We want our plan! We want to exterminate other options.
For society to flourish we need to allow for differing views. We need a mixture of choices and attitudes to be heard. We need to heed the welfare of the vulnerable and powerless. We need to be responsible for the survival of as many people as possible.
To revisit the COVID history for lessons learned, we need to be cautious. People were making the best choices they could under difficult circumstances. I am glad that I was not required to make the hard choices for quarantines, masking and vaccination rule.
While I desire freedom to live as I want, there will always be limits to that freedom and responsibilities to ensure the health and safety of other citizens. That is what civilized societies do.
